The Elephant Piece traces the exploits and indulgences of a society of "Hackers" as they pursue their insatiable and disastrous wants and needs. The Hackers, a gang of vaudevillian and barbaric friends, wreak havoc on everyone and everything around them employiong unconventional "Minstrel Show" -singing and storytelling to the tune of unabated arrogance and greed. They are in the pursuit of the last living elephant on earth. In wild, outrageous commedia/vaudevillian make-up and costume, they dominate, consume and lay waste to everything in their path as they hunt, capture and transport Elephant to their zoo. In their disconnectedness, they hack Elephant's dead carcass to pieces in an orgy of bloodlust which ultimately brings them face-to-face with their atrocious desires.

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Scene 4 - WE HACK MINSTREL SHOW

Bright lights and VAUDEVILLE ATMOSPHERE as ENSEMBLE bursts on STAGE.

THEY are pushing a LARGE CAGE containing PACHY DERMAN and DARLENE. Throughout the show PACHY and DARLENE will REMAIN in the CAGE. THEY will sing, but will not be allowed to participate.

"WE HACK"

ENSEMBLE
HOW YA GONNA
KEEP THE SUN A-SHINING BRIGHTLY?
SPREAD YA LEGS AND FRY SOME EGGS AND
HACKA HACK !

SHOO THE CLOUDS AND
BURN THE SHROUDS AND HOLD ON TIGHTLY
TAKE YER AX AND BREAK SOME BACKS AND
HACKA HACK !

     (Repeat)

WE HACK AWAY
FROM DAY TO DAY
BUT THAT'S ALRIGHT
IT'S OUR DELIGHT !

BUTCH
MR. BONES, MR. BONES
CLEAN THE BONES, BURY THE BONES
TELL US A STORY, MR. BONES
WHADDAYA SAY ?

BONES
WHADDAYA WANT ?
UP OR DOWN ?
RIGHT THRU THE HEART
THE BEST IN TOWN
I'LL TURN UP THE HEAT
AND FEED YOU THE MEAT
SO PULL UP A SEAT

(THEY BOUNCE onTHEIR HAUNCHES in anticipation)

BONES
Because the elephant has a big head -

PERNICIA
I don't believe it. Elephants again.

BONES
Because the elephant has a big head -

BUTCH
Elephants !

BONES
Because the elephant has a big head -

(ENSEMBLE picks up BATS)

ENSEMBLE
MR. BONES, MR. BONES
DON'T BE A JERK, MR. BONES
TELL US A STORY, HUMAN AND GORY
FEED US THE MEAT

BONES
Dont blow a gasket, you'll get your gore. I'm here to stay.

BUTCH
We'll get on with it. And it better be good.

DARLENE
Yeah !

BUTCH
Shut up !
(pause)

BONES
Because the elephant has a big head, the task of hacking out elephant tusks involves cutting the whole skull into fragments.

FAWN
Hallelujah !

BONITA
Shake-dem-bones.

BONES
When the skull is clean on one side, the neck should be cut.

BUZZ
Music to my ears.

IRIS
Mine eyes have seen the glory.

BONES
After the spine is severed, the head is turned over by eight or ten men and an ax is used to chop away both sockets, chip by chip, until the tusk is free.

ENSEMBLE
YES !

BONES
Ah, the shriek of the wounded as whole families are plowed down by automatic rifle fire !

ENSEMBLE
YES !

BONES
Ah, the whine of chainsaws as faces are cut off and tusks are ripped from bloody carcasses !

ENSEMBLE
YES !

BONES
A bullet in the heart shaped brain !

ENSEMBLE
YES !

BONES
Ah, the carnage !

ENSEMBLE
YES !

BONES
Ah, the slaughter !

ENSEMBLE
YES !
YES !
YES !
YES !

HACKA HACKA HACKA HACKA
HACKA HACKA
HACKA HACKA HACKA HACKA
HACKA HACK !

(Repeat)

WE HACK AWAY
FROM DAY TO DAY
AND AS WE SMASH
THE WORLD WILL CRASH
IT'S ONLY LOVE
WE'RE FRIGHTENED OF
BUT THAT'S ALRIGHT
WE'LL SLEEP TONIGHT

HACKA HACKA HACKA HACKA
HACKA HACKA
HACKA HACKA HACKA HACKA
HACKA HACK !

(Repeat)

(THEY CHANT "meat, meat, meat" under Bone's speech)

BONES
I am a human being and I deserve the rewards of my superior nature ! I hack hard and I play hard ! I whack hard and I stay hard ! I am an example of evolution at its best - OUT OF CONTROL !

(EVERYONE LAUGHS INSANELY and immediately continues chanting "meat")

And so what ? I'm at the top of the evolutionary heap ! I got rights ! This is my place ! I own the store ! I'm the landlord and the lord shall do with the land what he pleases !

(ENSEMBLE STOPS CHANTING)

Everybody else pays rent !

(RED LIGHTS UP immediately. ENSEMBLE FREEZES in TABLEAU)

ENSEMBLE (Threateningly)
WE ARE THE TRIBE AT THE TOP OF THE HILL
WITH A VIEW OF THE WORLD THAT CONCEDES TO OUR WILL
AND OUR WILL IS THE LAW, THE LAW OF THE LAND
THE LAND THAT IS SHAPED BY THE STROKE OF OUR HAND

WE ARE THE TRIBE WITH THE WHIP AND THE GUN
WITH THE TRAP AND THE SNARE AND THE HEAT OF THE SUN
AND THOSE UNDER-ACHIEVERS, THOSE SUB-HUMAN GNATS
ARE OUR FOOD, ARE OUR PETS ARE OUR LABORATORY RATS

WE ARE THE TRIBE WHO WILL FEED ON EACH OTHER
WHO'LL THREATEN A CHILD FROM THE MILK OF ITS MOTHER
WHO'LL CIRCLE THE BONES OF ALL GOOD-NATURED JOKERS
AND PUMMEL THESE LOSERS WITH THUMBSCREWS AND POKERS

WE ARE THE TRIBE AT THE TOP OF THE HILL
WITH A VIEW OF THE WORLD THAT CONCEDES TO OUR WILL
AND OUR WILL IS THE LAW, THE LAW OF THE LAND
THE LAND THAT IS SHAPED BY THE STROKE OF OUR HAND

WE ARE THE TRIBE
WE ARE THE TRIBE
FEED US THE MEAT
FEED US THE MEAT

(BRIGHT LIGHTS UP immediately)

(cheerfully as before)

WE HACK AWAY
FROM DAY TO DAY
AND AS WE SMASH
THE WORLD WILL CRASH
IT'S ONLY LOVE
WE'RE FRIGHTENED OF
BUT THAT'S ALRIGHT
WE'LL SLEEP TONIGHT

(softly)

HACKA HACKA HACKA HACKA
HACKA HACKA
HACKA HACKA HACKA HACKA
HACKA HACK !

(loudly)

HACKA HACKA HACKA HACKA
HACKA HACKA
HACKA HACKA HACKA HACKA
HACKA HACK !